Even when your hope is gone
by Stroppy Poppy
Summary: Kurt is in New york while Blaine is still stuck in Ohio. Blaine pretends he's dating Rachel to his homophobic father, a descision that gets both boys put in hospital but when Blaine's father decides he isn't finished with the boys, will klaine survive?
1. Chapter 1

"Hey babe!" Blaine smiled over at the grainy picture of his boyfriend, his smile widened as he came into focus. Kurt was as beautiful as ever, his billowy chestnut hair flowed in a perfect bubble around his angelic face. His eyes full of so many emotions, Blaine could never begin to decipher. His face lit up as he smiled back and waved slightly,

"Hi." Kurt missed Blaine more than he could imagine, more than he thought possible. After all they had been through at McKinley, they were voted 2nd most likely to last after Mike and Tina -who, lets be honest,may as well had tied the knot in junior year- this spurred their relationship further, as well as the Sebastion debacle.

"I miss you so much, you honestly have no idea." Blaine sighed. Kurt being at NYU and his being stuck at McKinley wasn't ideal in his world.

"10 months 7 weeks and 13 days until you can move over here with me." Kurt smiled then looked around hastily, "and I escape Rachel."

"I HEARD THAT MISTER!" The three then broke out laughing.

"So how's New York? Amazing, beautiful?"

"Tiring." Kurt sighed, "But I have got some news," Blaine made drum roll noises on his knees, "I got an extra role on Broadway for Wicked! I'm a Shiz student!" Kurt squealed happily clapping his hands,

"Kurt thats wonderful!" Blaine exclaimed with joy, "I'm so pround of you baby boy! Rachel...?"

"Didn't audition." Kurt shrugged, "She was at an Evita audition. I think she got it."

"Evita?"

"Milkmaid number 2." Rachel smiled then poked Kurt, "A _named_ part."

"I have a named part! Shiz student _and_ background Dancer number 3. Two parts missy moo and don't forget it!" Blaine laughed as the pair attempted to mess each others hair up. Blaine missed it, sure he had friends at McKinley, but his enemies out weighed them.

"So Blaine Ex-Warbler," Rachel smiled sitting on Kurt's lap, "How's McKinley?"

"Awful. The football team locked me in an actual locker earlier. I thought I'd miss our video chat. Damn my height!" Blaine sighed, then looked at Rachel's shocked face and Kurt's tortured one.

"Thats terrible!" She squealed,

"Yeah, locker lock-in's are the worst." Rachel gave Kurt an appauled look to tell him to continue. "Year before Mr Schue took over Glee Club, Karofsky's voice broke and mocked me because mine wasn't getting any different. He called me a fag then the rest of the junior squad grabbed me and shoved me in a locker. I was left there overnight. My Dad was working late so never found out...and never will, understand?" Rachel hugged Kurt tightly.

"That hugs from both of us. So were you the one who wrote _'Enemies of the hier beware'_ in red ink on the inside of the locker?" Blaine smirked.

"I was bored." Kurt shrugged.

"And I just fell in love with you a bit more." Rachel made kissy faces as Kurt literaly threw her out of the room.

"Stay! Good Rachel, good little hobbit child." Kurt cooed with a smirk,

"I'm only a few inches shorter than you!"

"Still shorter."

* * *

><p>"Blaine, honey, your father is home. Sign off Skype before he sees you!" Blaine's mother called up the stairs to her chuckling son whose laughter stopped suddenly.<p>

"Sure Mom, I owe you one!"

"Fourteen, but who's counting." She giggled, hoping to go distract her husband so Blaine could have a few more moments with his love.

* * *

><p>"Your Dad?" Kurt questioned, his eyes growing misty,<p>

"Hey, no tears babe. I'll talk to you tomorrow, kay?" Kurt shook his head and Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I have to be at rehearsals during our next thirteen skype dates." Kurt croaked. Blaine wanted nothing more than to hold him.

"That's fine! I'll call you during lunch then!" Blaine smiled,

"My classes are different, B."

"After school?"

"I get out later."

"After rehearsals?"

"I'll look hideous." Kurt grimaced. Blaine smiled,

"Babe, I'll call you and you can put me on speaker while you do your face thingy." Kurt mock gasped and rolled his eyes, raising a hand to his chest.

"You mock me, sir!" Blaine stuck his tongue out and then gasped at the sound of footsteps.

"Crap, Dad," He turned back to the screen, "I need to go babe, I love you and I'll call you tomorrow."

"I love you too Blaine, night." Blaine closed skype just as his father opened his door.

"Hello D...Father." Blaine smiled politely.

"Blaine," His Father drawled in his usual disappointed tone that made Blaine's face drop. "Who were you talking to?"

_shit_

"My...Girlfriend?" Blaine panicked. _Girlfriend, you are gay Blaine! ..._

"Are you lying to me, Blaine?" His father growled, "You know how I feel about lying."

"No! Her name is Rachel! I swear!" Blaine panicked again. Lying hurt, lying got him hit. His mother didn't know and if he could protect her from his fathers ferocity then Goddammit he would.

"Call her back."

"Now?"

"YES!" Blaine gulped and pressed call again. Kurt's face flashed on screen and he beamed.

"Blaine!" Kurt was going to get hurt so much from this.

"Hey Kurt, can you put Rachel on. Dad want to see the girlfriend is real." Blaine widened his eyes to send a message. True to his acting capabilitys Kurt faultered for a second before smirking.

"She's working Blaine, call back later."

"I'm not working!"

"Oh god, its alive." Kurt rolled his eyes, he then stood up off the camera. "Rachel, boyfriend talk go."

"What? Blaine...oh. OH!" She then sat down quickly. "Hey babe."

* * *

><p>Kurt watched the whole conversation with tears streaming down his porcelain face. Rachel always won. Sure Blaine was probably faking for his father but that made their relationship a secret, like it was wrong. Rachel got Finn when he wanted him, Rachel went to prom with Sam, Rachel kissed Blaine, Rachel was Blaine's lead, Rachel was Kurt's exact yet oposite being and that hurt.<p>

He gave up listening and went to his room and began to sob his heart out. His heart that was currently in Westerville pretending to love Rachel Berry.

He'd never be good enough for Blaine, not with his Father hating him.

Rachel would be perfect.

Kurt wasn't perfect.

Kurt realised this with a gasp and ran to his bathroom and grabbed a razor, holding it about his wrist for a second before throwing it in the sink and falling in a sobbing heap to the floor.

* * *

><p>"...well your son is perfect." Rachel giggled, treating this like an acting excerise. One that got easier once Kurt and his heartbreak left the room. Suddenly she heard and crash and a loud splash of water. "Kurt? Kurt are you alright?"<p>

"Is he okay?" Blaine asked too quickly. Rachel shrugged, then looked at Blaine's concerned face.

"I'll check." She walked quickly into the bedroom to see a bottle of Tylenol open on the bed. A note beside it.

_She's perfect, I'm not. I've known that all my life. Blaine loves her now. I'm worthless._

"No." She whispered running into the bathroom and screaming.

* * *

><p>"Rachel? RACHEL? What happened?" Blaine heard more water sloshing and the sound of a phone call being made. Five minutes later paramedics burst in with a strecher. "No..."<p>

Rachel came sobbing up to the camera. "Kurt." She whispered. Blaine felt his stomach drop as he saw the boy he loved being wheeled out of the room, dripping wet and with an oxygen mask holding his face. "He tried to kill himself."

"As he should." Mr Anderson spat, "Filthy fag."

"That 'fag' is my boy...bestfriend Dad!"

"What did you say? You lied." His father stood eyes darkening, Blaine began panicking.

"I didn't lie! No no please no I'm sorry!"

"You know what happens when you lie to me Blaine." He slammed the laptop shut, hiding Blaine from the screaming Rachel. His door was locked, he was trapped.

And as good as dead, then again if Kurt was...he wanted to be too.

_**Review and Klainebows shall appear before your very eyes! Or they should...try it ;)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning! Bus load of triggers, from abuse to depression for if that is likely to trigger you read with caution. **

Kurt woke to the smell of hospital sheets and a warm hand gripping onto his. He groaned and sat up.

"Kurt! Thank God your alive! Blaine and I were so worried..."

"Why on earth would he care?" Kurt snapped. "I wish I died." He muttered.

"What! Kurt of course he cares he's your boyfriend!" Rachel gasped, clearly appalled.

"He's yours. He doesn't want me. No one wants me when your around. Finn, Glee club, Sam, New York...Blaine." Kurt choked out his name as if he hurt him to utter the word. Rachel touched his shoulder but he flinched away.

"Finn is now your brother, Glee was only a silly high school club, Sam was a pity thing for Prom, you live in New York don't you? And Blaine Anderson is in love with you. He always has been and always will be." Kurt then laughed.

"He kissed you first!"

"Kurt..."

"He kissed you, he went out on a date with you, he ignored me for a week because of you." Kurt let one tiny tear escape. "He'll always go to you, they all do."

"He's in hospital." Kurt froze and a cry lept to his throat. "His Dad figured it out and beat the living crap out of him. He's awake, but his Dad isn't letting him go home. He's moving in with us and doing an online high school diploma. He needs you Kurt, don't let him down."

"I can't Rachel." Kurt was sobbing now, "Don't you get it? I just want to die, let you have him, let him go home I don't care I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE!"

"And thats why I need to speak with you Mr Hummel." A Doctor walked in. Kurt pushed himself as far as he could into the pillows of his bed. "Calm down Kurt, I only want to help."

"And why would you want to help a fag like me?" Kurt spat. Rachel gasped and tears filled her eyes at Kurt's use of that word towards himself. "Stop faking." He snapped at her. "I know you don't care."

"Kurt..."

"Kurt I'm fearful that you have Atypical depression." The Doctor sighed sitting down on the chair next to the boys bed. "You see this form of depression tends to occur if lets say there has been a history of social rejection in the persons life. Kurt I need you to answer a few questions ok? Can you do that?"

"I'm not an idiot." Kurt growled. Rachel looked at the Doctor and mouthed 'Sorry' but he shook his head.

"I know Kurt, you are a very bright young man but you tried to kill yourself and I just want to know why ok? Will you answer the questions for me?" He asked with warm and understanding in his voice, not disgust or pity. Kurt sighed and nodded. "Thank you. Okay, Kurt, have you ever been bullied?"

"Yes."

"A lot?"

"Quite a lot."

"When did it start?" The Doctor asked, concern lacing his voice. Kurt shrugged,

"Elementary school, maybe pre-school. I was different. I didn't like playing with the boys and the girls let me play with them but the boys picked on me for it."

"Thank you for telling me." The Doctor smiled then wrote a note on his sheet. "Have you ever tried to change yourself to be accepted? Like a need for acceptance?" Kurt nodded with tears in his eyes. "Do you want to tell me?"

"My Dad." He croaked. "I wanted to be the perfect son for him, I didn't want my step brother to replace me. I just wanted to be who he needed."

"Take your time." He smiled at the boy you indicated after a minute for him to go on. "Alright. Have you ever been rejected romantically?" Kurt scoffed,

"How long have you got?"

"As long as you need Kurt." Kurt then crumpled into sobs.

"I was in love with my step brother before he was my step brother. He would hold my coat and bag when I was thrown into dumpsters and in my mind he was a hero for caring the tiniest bit." Rachel looked away, remembering her words to Kurt.

_"You like him!" She gasped. "Thats it you like him so you used that against me to get to him!" _

_"I was just helping him see that you are not a viable second choice." Kurt retorted to the girl. _

_"Oh you think I'm a second choice." Rachel scoffed as Kurt turned around. _

_"A distant second." Kurt spat, looking the girl up and down." _

_"Well if i was second or if i were fiftieth i would still be ahead of you because I'm a girl!" _

"I then had it shown to me by my dear friend how stupid I was being." His voice cracked at stupid and Rachel had to cover her mouth with her hand to stop her sobs. "I got our parents together to spend more time with him, great idea huh?" He laughed humorlessly, not noticing the Doctors pained look. "I decorated our room, but everything was too...too 'faggy'. What else do you expect from the stupid little fag who has a faggy crush on you right?"

"Kurt don't." Rachel begged but Kurt silenced her with a glare.

"My Dad kicked him out for it. My Dad is always there for me...well, almost always." Kurt looked down sadly, Rachel placed her hand on his shoulder but he flinched away with a growl. "TAKE YOUR FUCKING HAND OFF ME!"

"Kurt!" Rachel gasped.

"Don't! IT WAS YOUR FAULT! You had that stupid party that Blaine got drunk at! I was being a good friend and let him stay over but he was too wasted to remember anything and all Dad saw was him in my bed - fully clothed might i add- and I had obviously taken advantage of him because thats what Kurt does when he likes a guy, isn't it?" Kurt screamed as tears flew down his cheeks. "Sam, he was going to sing with me for duets until your stupid boyfriend..."

"He's your brother." She whispered.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Kurt bellowed. "Finn then, happy? He made Sam not want to sing with me so I had to preform on Duets week by myself! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING HUMILIATING THAT WAS?" Kurt broke down into sobs again. "Then Blaine." He whispered. "I love him so freaking much! But at that Christmas he was singing with a girl, then at Valentines he fell in love with the Junior Manager at GAP then he kissed you and dated you and then there was stupid little Kurt! Waiting, hoping that one day maybe he would be good enough. Good enough for a constellation prize. Bet he was glad when he thought I died, free from the annoying boyfriend he had to put up with."

"How can you even_ think _that?" A voice asked, choked with tears, from he door. Kurt looked up and hazel connected with blue as Kurt broke down again.

There he was, Blaine Anderson. A swollen black eye and a cut lip marred his perfect face. He had a splint up his middle finger and his right leg was in a cast. The rest of his body was littered with cuts a bruises. At his feet were two large suitcases, Rachel's tale proving to be correct. Kurt couldn't look at him as the three in the room noticed.

"Rachel, Blaine, could you two possibly wait outside a moment?" The Doctor asked.

"Of course." Rachel smiled leading a confused Blaine out.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered. The Doctor rested a hand on his leg.

"This will be hard Kurt, I do understand." Kurt scoffed, "No I do. When I was your age I developed this too. I'm gay and my family kicked me out, your lucky for your father. Blaine _does _love you Kurt, okay? And I'm going to try all i can to make you see that again. You've been feeling like this on and off for a while haven't you? Years even?" Kurt nodded. "Would you be ok with just a few more questions?"

"Yeah, yeah that would be fine."

"Have you been sleeping a lot less or a lot more recently?" Kurt nodded, "Which one Kurt?"

"Both, depends on the night or whats happened in the day I guess." He shrugged.

"Good, good. Now, this is the most important question and I don't usually ask this but your in a state right now. Ready?" Kurt nodded, "Do you need a hug?" Kurt laughed with a smiled then began to cry again and nodded furiously. "C'mere." The Doctor got up and hugged the sobbing boy, "Mood swings are common too, but in my experience a hug does wonders." Kurt laughed again. The Doctor then held his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "I'm going to send Blaine in now, on his own. You need him Kurt Ok? I will catch him up but you two need to talk alright." Kurt nodded. "You're a good kid, Kurt."

"He wouldn't even look at me!" Blaine cried as Rachel closed the door.

"Blaine..."

"I knew I should have tried to give him more warning or get off skype faster or told my Dad the truth , I don't care if he killed me but then Kurt would be fine! He'd be ok!" Blaine sobbed, falling into a chair near the door. Rachel took his had a shook her head.

"No honey he wouldn't." Blaine raised an eyebrow. "He has a form of depression that just needed a trigger to set him off. It was like a time bomb, honey, it isn't your fault. It's mine if anyones."

"Rach how on earth..."

"I took his solos, I took Finn I took you for a while. I'm the big bad wolf right now. The bullying was the main cause though." They both hung their heads, getting comfort from the other one being there until he soft sound of a closed door alerted them to the Doctor.

"Hello you two. Blaine, only Blaine, go in. Rachel filled you in?" Blaine nodded. "I need you to know that none at all of what is happening to Kurt at all either of your faults." Both looked down. "It isn't, alright? The best thing you can do is be there for him ok? Blaine go on in."

"Hey." Kurt looked up into the red tinged eyes of his boyfriend.

"Hey yourself." Kurt smiled faintly.

"I love you." Blaine sobbed, now crying again. "I don't love Rachel like I love you. She's like my annoying little sister. You are who I want to be with Kurt, I just panicked because of my Dad but I love you! I'm so fucking sorry Kurt! I love you!" Blaine was choking over his tears as he hobbled over to sit by Kurt's bed, who was now sobbing too.

"Don't. Just stop it. Just because I'm in hospital doesn't m-mean you have to a-act like you are in l-love with me, I'm used to the rejection Blaine honest I am! It's ok." Blaine shook his head violently then grabbed Kurt's and smashed their lips together for a heated kiss. Kurt gasped at the love that Blaine was trying to send him then he pulled back and kissed Kurt's cheek.

"I love you, what more do I have to do to make your believe that?"

"A hug tends to help." Kurt whispered meekly and his boyfriend's arm encased him in a warm and loving embrace that made Kurt's heart shatter a little bit more at the thought of ever doubting Blaine.

"I love you Kurt, I really hope you'll learn to believe me." Blaine breathed before kissing the boys head and bringing him closer.

_**Review please, now i'm off to write a happy Christmas story after all that angst**_

_**REVIEW!**_

_**ed to do something intelligent before my brain turns to mush, therefore updates! PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!**_


	3. Chapter 3

The ride home from the hospital was awkwardly quiet, the only sound being the soft hum of the engine and Blaine unconsciously rubbing his knee. Kurt stared out the window the whole ride home, fully aware Blaine's glaze was fixed on him and Rachel's eyes kept fleeting to the rear view mirror, just to make sure he was still there. He sighed and turned to glare at Blaine, then addressed the pair.

"I'm not going to disappear if you look away from me for one second. I'm not glass that will break if you don't cover me in cotton wool. Stop staring at me like you are better than me. Stop giving me your pity because I sure as hell don't need it." He snapped, "Quit the act Blaine, I know you still think you love me but you don't and Rachel I know you are only still here so you can use me as a sob story when you get on TV talk shows. You are both wasting your time!"

"Grow up Kurt!" Rachel snapped back. "We care! Blaine is hurt here too so stop making this about you!"

"Rachel!" Blaine growled, angry at the girl for losing her temper so easily.

"No Blaine! I know all you want to do is help him but you can't do that if he's acting like a brat!"

"Just like you have been since middle school!" Kurt yelled back to the girl. "Now focus on the road. Unlike you I do really care if Blaine gets hurt." Kurt muttered as he returned his gaze to out the window. Blaine's gaze fell back on the boy, the sun hitting his pale face in the same way it did in Ohio last summer. Where all that mattered was Kurt and Blaine, planning their future. _We'll still have it,_ Blaine thought, _I promise I will make you happy again._

* * *

><p>"So here we are." Rachel stated once the trio got into the apartment, "Home."<p>

"Really? I thought we walked into a strangers flat." Kurt drawled sarcastically. He walked past Rachel to his room and slammed the door shut. Rachel let out a sigh of releif and Blaine glared at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He snarled, "He needs support not you being a bitch!"

"He was being a bitch first." Rachel replied.

"That is childish Rachel, c'mon. He needs us right now, he needs his best friend." Blaine insisted, Rachel just shook her head. "He does and he knows it. It is a hell of a lot to take in right now so understandably he wants to be alone."

"What if he kills himself?" He whispered, "What if we screw it up Blaine, and we lose him?"

"I won't let that happen." Blaine replied, leaning on his crutch. "If I wasn't stupid enough to think Kurt wouldn't get hurt by me pretending you were my girlfriend then he would be ok. He might have never gotten a trigger and he wouldn't be depressed. Its my fault..."

"It's not, you know." Kurt said from the door frame of his room. Rachel spun around, wiping her eyes as she turned.

"Kurt, how long have you been there?"

"Since you called me a bitch." He shrugged then turned to Blaine. "It isn't your fault Blaine. I've been having dark days since Karofsky kissed me in junior year. Some days were really really bad, like your slushie incident or Dave trying to kill himself. Other days were great, like when you surprized me on Valentines day. This just happened to resurface too many memorys of Rachel always beating me. It isn't your fault Blaine, and it isn't yours Rach. It's mine. Look I'm sorry, its been a rough day. But we don't have a guest room and I doubt you want to share a bed with Rachel so, my doors open." Kurt nodded then walked back into his room. Blaine stared after the boy, wondering how he hadn't seen his boyfriend slowly breaking. Rachel look at him and smiled.

"Go on, it's late. You can unpack in the morning." She said, nodding to Kurt's room. "You two need to talk." Blaine smiled and hugged Rachel before hobbling off to Kurt's room.

* * *

><p>It was different to what he expected. Sure the Broadway lights mirror and super organized closet were there but the room seemed different to what his Kurt would make it. The walls were grey, the carpet a deep blood red that matched his red bedding. He had twisting red and blue fairy lights wrapped around his head and foot board and the playbills Blaine expected to grace the wall were of darker musicals like <em>Sweeney Todd <em>and posters of gory televisions shows Blaine never watched like _Dexter_ and _American Horror Story._

"I know it isn't what you'd expect, but they made me feel better if that makes sense." Blaine spun to see Kurt standing by the door of his en suite in his navy blue pyjamas. He walked closer to Blaine as he elaborated. "No matter how messed up it seemed in my head, no matter how hopeless, they're minds always seemed worse. Mrs Lovett resorted to cannibalism, Tate and Dexter to murder. I related with all of them but only in one way, I'd do anything to protect the people I love. I'd kill for them, kill any problem that could hurt them. Then I figured out the only problem that could hurt them was me, and I could get rid of that problem so so easily. So I thought about it, I never found a reason strong enough to do it. Then I realized if there was no me, there would be no reason for your Dad to hurt you. I mean I'm still here, and look at you." Kurt gestured to Blaine's beaten up appearance. "You got hurt."

"Kurt you can't possibly think you are a problem." Blaine sighed. "You are the only thing that has kept me going at that hell of a school." Kurt shook his head.

"I was the reason you transferred. Ergo I created the problem." Kurt said, his voice a little teary.

"And if you hadn't I'd be stuck in a miserable relationship with Sebastian who would cheat on me but convince me to stay with him." Blaine took Kurt's hands in his own. "Ergo you prevented the problem."

"I missed you so much." Kurt cried, letting the flood gates open as he fell into Blaine's chest. "I'm so sorry. Please still love me. Please don't be lying to me." He whispered.

"Hey shush, baby shush." Blaine soothed. "You have nothing to be sorry for, just don't ever try and hurt yourself again Kurt. I love you so much, I'd never lie to you. I love you, I promise." Blaine whispered back kissing the top of Kurt's head. "I promise."

_**Update! Yay! I've been off school sick for the past few days so I need to do something intelligent before my brain turns to mush, therefore updates! PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt woke up the next morning and for the first time in months, his reason for not getting out of bed wasn't because life was pointless, it was because a certain curly haired boy was wrapped around his back like a koala. He could hear Rachel warming he voice with her daily rendition of 'I dreamed a dream' which Kurt now hated. He rolled his eyes and tried to ease Blaine off of him but he clung tighter.

"No..." He mumbled into Kurt's back. Kurt shrugged again and wiggled out of his grip, putting his pillow between Blaine's arms. "Kurt...need you...stay."He smiled happily, sniffing the pillow. Kurt's lips twitched but a smiled never reached his face. He wandered into the bathroom, which thanks to the boy curled up in his bed was devoid of painkillers and razors. Kurt sighed, needing something for his headache that was quickly looked at his reflection in the mirror, that wasn't him was it? That face that looked so distraught. It was mocking him, it knew like everyone else that it all was a lie. No one cared, everyone just felt obligated to stay. His reflection continued to glare and mock until Kurt couldn't take it and fell to the ground in tears. He was nothing, he was worthless, he wasn't normal, he didn't look right, he overreacted, he cared too much.

* * *

><p>Blaine woke bleary as Kurt fell to the ground in sobs. Blaine rushed to the bathroom and his heart broke for what felt like the millionth time in the past few days. Kurt was pressed against the wall, his arms around his legs, sobbing into his knees.<p>

"Kurt?" Blaine asked sitting down beside him. "What's wrong honey?"

"I don't even know what isn't anymore." Kurt cried, falling into Blaine's lap. It all seemed bleak to Kurt, nothing would stay with him forever, nothing expect the hurt.

"I'm here now baby." Blaine hushed. Kurt cried harder and clung to Blaine.

"What did I do? Why do so many people hate me? Why does no one ever tell me the truth?" Kurt asked. Blaine looked into his deep, sad eyes and sighed.

"You haven't done anything Kurt, you're perfect to me. Who hates you Kurt? I don't, your Dad doesn't."

"But I do." Kurt admitted, sitting back against the wall again. "Mom is probably so disappointed in me. I couldn't even kill myself without screwing up. I'm a screw up." Kurt sighed closing his eyes, "All I'll ever be."

"No it isn't. I love you and your Mom loves you so much. She knows I need you so she made sure you lived." Blaine answered, holding Kurt's cold hands. "And for that I am eternally thankful to her." Kurt's face crumpled and he pulled his hands away.

"What about what I need Blaine? I want to be happy, I can't do that here. Why are you so selfish!" Kurt yelled pushing Blaine away from him in his hurt rage. "I love you Blaine, I do but I can't do this anymore!"

"Do what Kurt?" Blaine begged, trying to reach out to his boyfriend again.

"Don't touch me!" Kurt screamed. Blaine froze and pulled his arm back slowly. "See? You're scared of me. You think I'm a time bomb. Bomb's explode Blaine...you don't want to get caught in the flames." Kurt stood up and walked back in the bedroom, Blaine followed after at a distance.

"Maybe I like playing with fire."

"Fire isn't a toy Blaine." Kurt snapped, turning his icy gaze on his boyfriend. "Its devastating. A spark, if left alone can smoulder into an inferno. That can wipe out family's, friends, work, school...love. It's a fire, it's a killer and it is not a toy to be dabbled with." He then walked closer to Blaine, lowering his voice so Blaine felt fear inch up his spine. "Can you imagine always being on fire Blaine? Having all you touch turn to ash? Destroying what you love most? Losing yourself? No, you can't."

"You aren't the only one who's ever been burnt Kurt, I've been through hell too..."

"BUT I'M STILL THERE!" Kurt cried, tears streaming down his face. "I'm trapped in hell every waking moment because I am the hell. It's in my head, you could run but I can't! I'm trapped and I want out."

"Kurt..."

"Get out Blaine."

"Kurt I..."

"I SAID GET OUT!" Blaine nodded and walked quickly to the door. As soon as he shut it he heard the gut wrenching sobs rip his boyfriend apart, and the sound nearly killed him. He felt a hand on his shoulder as Rachel spun him around with a cross look on her face.

"He's selfish. I don't want to look at him anymore." She sneered. Blaine looked at her in shock.

"He's your best friend!"

"He was." She corrected. "That is not Kurt, that's some attention whore!"

"Don't you dare call him that!" Blaine snarled but Rachel laughed.

"He is! He probably wasn't studying when he was 'at the library.' He was probably sucking some guy off in an alley..."

"I'm warning you..."

"...And now your here he's putting on the oh I'm depressed act. He's an actor Blaine it isn't real!"

* * *

><p>"Why the hell are you saying this Rachel?"<p>

"He is using you for your family's money Blaine, don't you see that?"

Kurt was curled up on his bed with his hands over his ears trying to block the fight out. He would never cheat on Blaine, Kurt loves Blaine. He wasn't a whore. He wanted to die more now than ever.

"He is sick Rachel!" Blaine defended on his behalf, making Kurt smile a little.

"In the head! He's a liar and a physco!"Rachel yelled followed by a smash. "That was my vase!"

"Yeah? I knew that, Kurt wouldn't buy something so tacky." Kurt laughed out loud at this, boy had he missed Blaine.

"You are cleaning that up!"

"No. I'm leaving." Kurt froze. He pushed to hard, Blaine was leaving him. He began sobbing harder again, hurting his ripping chest. "And I am bringing Kurt. Cooper has a flat he said I can use. If you're a bitch he will look after Kurt with me."

"You two won't last." She spat. "He'll be dead or you'll be a drunk before the years out. You'll be just like Daddy." Kurt froze. Even if he was trying to hurt Blaine he would never in his life compare him to Mr Anderson.

"If I wasn't a better person, I'd slap you right now. But I won't. I'll be back in an hour for my boyfriend. In the meantime, leave him the hell alone."

"And If I don't?"

"I will destroy you."


End file.
